Even if it breaks you

You come and go,
beautiful and unexpected
like the moon at sunrise.

You bring along
these blurry memories,
like that huge tree i love.
It's so all embracing.

It does feel good
to get around you,
i'd never deny i care!
But it's one of those smiles
that can last only so long.

As long as it takes to think.
Even if it breaks you.

I've left your side
and will leave always.
I'll run to safe ground.
Even if that harms you.

I ain't no proud 'bout this
but 'round you,
this is what i'm made of.
Fear.

And i can't figure out
how to change that,
and i won't try anymore.
(Even if it hurts me,
i will someday heal)
Even if it breaks you.
All of you.

A sad truth maybe, this is the first time i actually get this out neatly. To those i've loved and will love from a mile-long distance, those whose faults i can't forget cuz they're still sharp on the sore places. This is being written 10 years after the first knockout. There you go.